on parents as teachers.

I’m newish to momhood and my perspective is that of a co-parent to an ultra easy going toddler, and so far, being a mom is pretty great.  If my own mother is right, though, my daughter will one day evolve into the back-talking, know-it-all fourteen-year old I once was.

Dear God, I hope not.  

Rolling with the punches and embracing the highs and lows is standard training wheel practice for new parents. From what I hear, it only gets harder.  The love grows and grows, and so does the complexity of decision making.  And oh how the love grows...

Guilt, self-doubt and forever responsibility whispers, Am I a bad parent?  Is my kid this way because of me?  And so it goes..

As an educator, pre-baby days, I hated when my students' parents asked me if I was a parent.  

“Um, no...someday, though.”  

Internally I knew what they meant.  Are you a parent?  Because if you aren’t, then you just don’t get it, lady.  

We both knew that quality teachers need not be parents, but it wasn’t until recently that I understood the skepticism.  

Coming off double rounds of conferences from my former job and now my current, October brought me nearly twelve hours of parent-teacher face time.  From enlightening to disappointing to emotional, as always, parent-teacher conferences proved to be well-worth the time investment for everyone.   

I’ve been a parent for nearly two years now, however, this month revealed the new teacher-as-a parent-me, more than ever.   

1. I’m nicer to parents.  I don’t sugar coat the truth, but I’m just nicer.  
2. I sandwich comment everything. Positive comment + (what to work on) + positive comment.  On tough days, as a parent, it feels good to know you’re doing something right.  
3. I take things less personally.  Chances are, the parent breathing fire onto your stack of ungraded papers as you smile and nod, is either mad at herself, her kid or something else entirely.  Teachers are an easy target.  I mean, who wants to admit their child is just plain lazy?  Or worse...a bully?

Maybe this recent reflection is something I should’ve learned pre-parenthood, as an educator, but never did.  And maybe it’s all nonsense.  

Maybe, though, it’s the self-doubt and gut-wrenching love for my daughter that makes me think a little more deeply about how I frame things to parents.  If I were this kid’s parent, how would I receive this?  (Well if I were this kid’s parent, I would teach him to respect adults, and be kind to his peers, and...and..and...)

Hey, I didn’t say my mindset has changed-it’s my approach that has changed.    Just kidding.  Sort of.  Power to the teacher!