on following your heart. part one.

Last week I left my job to follow my heart.  

I’m not referring to the sometimes crippling devotion to my husband and daughter kind of heart, I’m talking about my teacher heart.  

Honestly, it was time I started practicing what I preached.  My last blog post was on integrity and not long before that-on schools on boats.  Who was I to be nudging teachers to commit themselves to innovation and transformation when I didn’t take my own advice?

Gaslighting myself about the perfect daily schedule, teaching my favorite grade and content, and serving in an organization with kids I loved and adults that supported me, is why I stayed so long.

Resigning felt like more of a healthy breakup- it’s not you it’s me.  Or-we just don’t want the same things anymore.  And then there was-we’re just at very different points in our lives right now.  

The truth is, I could no longer fully commit myself in an environment that didn’t make me happy.  And since I knew the catalyst for this dissatisfaction, I sought out a school setting that better aligned with my educational values.  And I took the job.  

Despite discrete eyerolls from fellow educators, I have no shame leaving in October.  My students deserve a teacher who believes in her practices and a teacher who they can trust to provide them with the tools they will one day access to achieve their dreams.

I am that teacher... I just can’t be that teacher in any setting.  Fortunate enough to have a wide range of teaching experiences to pull from, the reality for me comes down to values.  

Do I believe that I’m doing right by kids everyday?  Will these lessons offer students a path to future happiness?  Would I want my own child experiencing this curriculum?  

It was better to say goodbye then to unintentionally project my negativity upon my students.  I loved my staff, loved my kids and loved my bosses.  My heart just couldn’t hold on any longer.  

And I don’t apologize for that.  I just wish (for my students’ sakes) I would’ve listened to my heart sooner.  

So we’ll see what happens.  This marks the first time I followed my heart to a new position in the same city.  Will it feel different? Or are all New Orleans’ schools inherently similar but just wrapped in contrasting pretty packages?

And does the system ultimately dictate the type of education our kids will experience?  

Only time will tell.  For now, though, things are looking up...and my teacher heart is feeling good!

Power to the teacher!